The Credible Adventures of
Captain Irie-Man & Wan'da Love
Captain Irie-Man: Hi!
Tourist: Hey, You are the Guy from the Internet! What's Happening, Partner?
Captain Irie-Man: Just so that You know, You should avoid carrying valuable items, like that nice new Canon EOS Rebel - with Flash - or large amounts of money that will draw attention.
Captain Irie-Man: Something like that I would carry in a Sturdy but Old & Torn-Looking Bag. Put your wallet in an inside or front pants pocket too, not a back pocket.