Shock & Awe: Memoirs of A Reluctant Earthling

Peaceful Politics 129
Reading Time: 11 minutes
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
My exile / assignment here to this rather bland, unremarkable and dare I say, boring sector of backwater Galactic Space by the Quasar Council, has actually become quite a blessing instead of the punishment it was intended to be.
There was good reason I’d never heard of it. Galactic Space Sector LHD-5 is way off the beaten path.
LHD-5 has no decent-sized Black Holes stable enough for commercial Dark Energy harvesting and does not even contain one of the 2.7^4059194 Wonders of the South-Western Constellation of Universes.
LHD-5 has no functional Fourth, Fifth or Sixth Dimensions, no Wormhole Assisted Transportation System and worst of all, Galactic Space Sector LHD-5 is totally absent any of registered and duly recorded Ascendant Level, Intelligently Evolved, Noblic Species (ALIENS). 
Other than myself, of course. 
While this galactic sector may lack industrial potential or even a basic pre-ascendant, CAT-3 rated civilization to monitor and advise, Galactic Space Sector LHD-5 is still the unexpected location of my latest discovery.
“Planet Earth”, (patent pending, all rights reserved), my humble discovery of great cosmo-anthropological significance, is hidden amongst a cluster of minor solar systems within a mid-powered galaxy orbiting on the left side of the sector quadrant (while facing Stellar North).
Even I, Earth’s single-handed discoverer almost overlooked it.
The natives, “Humans” as they call themselves, are of a domination mindset and over Earth’s relatively short existence, the Humans have become the planet’s dominant species.
Of course, the non-nobilic, shape shifting Reptilians are here too. 
Covertly, Reptilians appear Human on the outside and mix freely with the planet natives. For the most part they just either own banks, rule countries or read News on TV, but more on them later.
The Humans themselves are pre-lightspeed, pre-space/time travel and, more significantly, Humans are pre-cognitive, even in their own sense of the word.
They live on the planet’s surface, slashing and burning along their merry little ways, managing to both drain and deplete several of Earth’s naturally renewable resources – if you can even imagine such ironic gluttony.
In their defense however, had it not been for almost 500 years of negligible advancement during a period even they call the Dark Ages, Humans could possibly have already outgrown the pesky Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) Nuclear Weapons phase they now experience, a phase which has instantly, as all Ascendant Beings already know, pushed countless of promising, pre-nobilic civilizations all the way back into the Ages of Sand, Stone and Rock.
And so, unassisted, and at significant risk of violence, death and disease, my time in this otherwise-unremarkable sector has been spent almost exclusively on Planet Earth.
For approximately four stellar wind-cycle weeks, or 38 earth-years to be exact, I have successfully interfaced with the experiences of Humanity and had unique opportunities to research and analyze their rudimentary lifestyle, illogical thought patterns and aberrant primitive behavior.
In my selfless and practically self-demeaning attempt to “experience their experiences”, to feel, act and even think like a Human, I assimilated my consciousness into the body of a random newborn human and engaged my symbiotic creation into the process called Life on Planet Earth.
Unfortunately I had to grow up and go through puberty all over again. 
I even had to wait three earth-years for my host Human to learn how to read Earthling scribble.
During what became 38 years of undercover, assimilation-based, anthropological research on Planet Earth, my host body and I have done much, seen much and been labeled accordingly by other terrestrials.
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
My Human experiences have included playing soccer on a field built inside the cone of a dormant Italian volcano (scoring a goal against the home team – of course), sailing through the Suez Canal, gazing at the Rock of Gibraltar and being spat directly in the face by a Greek zooming by on a motor scooter.
I’ve starved during Noon Siestas in Barcelona (everything closes for nap time), haggled with Turks in the Izmir Bazaar and dined on rabbit stew on the Island Fortress of Malta.
I’ve traded trinkets with Egyptians, had Iraqi money with Saddam Hussein’s face folded in my pocket and driven what Humans claim to be vehicles on Italian roads.
Driving with Italians is much, much more dangerous than it sounds. The trick however, is not to make eye contact with them.
In 38 years I’ve have been called both Immigrant and Native, Citizen and Sailor. I’ve been called Capitalist and Communist, Groom and Respondent and I’ve also been called both Son and Father.
I’ve been bitten by dogs, attacked by a badger and been head-butted by a ram.
I’ve been to Bethlehem, Mt. Carmel and Calvary. I’ve had Falafel for breakfast, seen the nuclear reactors in Haifa, as well as seen buildings previously struck by SCUD missiles.
I have been recognized for business achievements and once sat on a Board of Directors. 
I’ve had a global staff of a dozen telecommuting together from 4 different nations and separately, I have sold everything from non-toxic household cleaners to night-vision goggles on the painfully slow, low-speed information network one of their leaders calls the Google.
King George the Lesser – Bush Jr. I’m pretty sure he was Reptilian.
I’ve survived getting 2 flat tires at the same time in the middle of nowhere – in the middle of the night and I’ve also sold dozens of high-end vacuum cleaners by going knocking from door to door.
I’ve had Maids, Nanny’s and Live-in Gardeners, often all three at the same time, and I’ve also had Wives, Girlfriends and Mistresses, sometimes all three at the same time too…
I’ve cleaned dog kennels and pigpens, plucked and gutted thousands of chickens and I have even had regular goat herding duties as well.
I’ve drank shots of Cuban coffee in Little Havana, sipped tea in Jordan and been “egged” in Spain.
I’ve prayed at a Wailing Wall, smoked a substance called “reed” in front of some President’s White House and I’ve taken a Selfie with a Monk on the banks of the river where a Jesus was baptized.
I’ve been called Rasta, I’ve been called Rahuda and I’ve been called a Pachuco. 
I’ve been called Plaintiff, Victim, Mortgagee and Patient.
Of all these varied and often contrasting human experiences, one of the strangest was the particularly blank feeling of getting into my car after a full day’s work but having nowhere specific to go because I was temporarily homeless and sleeping on the back seat.
Is this what it means to be Human? Do they all go through Life only appreciating that which impacts them directly?
Humans have a hard time putting themselves in the shoes of others. They only know pain when they feel it for themselves.
The Human part of my Earthly consciousness never once thought being homeless would be fun, but it was not until I was in the situation for myself could I comprehend it’s full magnitude and gravity.
Humans see compassion and empathy as positive virtues when they should really be seeing them as the norm.
Whilst still quite primitive in their thoughts and technologies, Humans actually have access to many components of higher wisdom and understand more basics of complex knowledge than their shallow civilizations and wanton actions would indicate.
For 38 earth-years I’ve tried to pinpoint the exact moment in history where their development went haywire.
Behind the obvious greed, chronic competiveness and merciless cruelty, a larger issue seems to be at work.
At some point ancient humans looked out into their Universe (they only know about this one), and what they saw outside their cave was an environment of scarcity.
Somehow that idea stuck with their descendants. Enough is never enough.
They know matter can neither be created or destroyed. In fact, they are even starting to figure out that all matter is made up of Light.
Yet all Humans can see is chaos.
They have long had the technology to abundantly feed and comfortably house their planet’s entire population on any one of their five continents.
Yet Humans look outside and see overpopulation.
They are vaguely aware of the comparative immensity of just their own Galaxy and the infinitesimal power generated solely by it’s orbit and existence.
Yet Humans fight wars regularly over “dwindling energy resources”.
They know that everything is connected. They know that at least one molecule in their next bottle of Spring Water was once in a teardrop from the eyes of an orphan.
Yet basic Human programming tells them that “someone has to suffer”.
Every atom in any of the countless numbers of Known Universes is connected. The pain or progress of one is the pain or progress of all.
When will their tiny minds acknowledge the truth that their eyes can already see?
In the abundance of water the fool is thirsty.
Everything you need has already been provided. The Universes overflow with resources of infinite unmeasurable abundance.
At least from the perspective of Humans.
Now back to those blue-blooded Reptilians and the cohort of Humans that do their bidding.
As if the Humans weren’t selfish, greedy and misguided enough, the Reptilian parasitic presence on Earth only makes a bad situation worse.
In total, over 140 wars have been fought on the planet since the end of World War Two – the war to end all wars, and the formation of Earth’s United Nations.
750,000 unhappy new Iraqi widows were produced just from the ten years of Gulf War Two alone.
I have waited patiently for some astute Human, possibly from the Occupy Protests, to link “Wall Street”, Police Militarization and corrupt back-room deal, revolving-door, corporation-friendly politics to more than just trillion-dollar theft and income inequality.
I have waited patiently for a Human to say “Hey, it’s always the same people hidden behind the cover stories on TV. Why is it always the same group found hiding a few layers behind the scenes”?
When will Humans figure out that the same people they protest on Wall Street are the same ones that put in the Shah, took out the Tsar’s and financed Genghis Khan and Hitler?
When will Humans see that it’s the same people that blasts them with dangerous X-rays and requires the random molestation of toddlers and grandmothers in the name of airport security?
While we are on that topic, when will Humans realize that it’s the same group of people that have NO security video recordings of ANY of the nineteen hijackers boarding ANY of the four planes?
Do Humans really believe that their governments add Fluoride to the water so that the citizens can effortlessly have strong healthy teeth?
It’s the same cabal that genetically modifies the food Humans eat, vaccinates third-world kids with known bad-batches of medicine and stumbled across AIDS experimenting with contagious, airborne cancer. 
They probably are the ones responsible for burning the Library of Alexandria.
It’s the same people today swamping Eastern Europe with “Taliban-Produced” Heroin, the same people that swamped China with Opium during the mid eighteen hundreds.
The same group that tells Humans “radar” failed on 9/11 is the same that could see underground Soviet missiles in Cuba way back in the seventies.
Radar failed??? 
They can zoom-in on two rats frolicking in a wool sock from dozens of high-resolution, satellite-based cameras constantly orbiting the planet.
Let’s not even get into the topics of Building 7 and the pristine Pentagon lawn.
It’s the same cabal that had the Canal given back to Panama so they could get repaid faster on their loans with the money from the country’s new shipping fee income.
The same cabal that legally defined the original inhabitants of Canada and Australia as “ab-originals” is the same that legally defines Israeli-born Palestinians as “present absents”.
It’s the same cabal of moneychangers that insured shiploads of humans kidnapped from West Africa against losses due to storms and cargo mutinies.
Today they insure European sovereign debt against losses due to political storms and citizen mutinies with their “derivative” products and heavily-controlled media “spin”.
There is semi-sensible talk that they were the ones that sunk the Titanic and set loose London’s Jack the Ripper – both events efforts to get potential whistle-blowers out of the way.
The same group that hung Saddam Hussein for daring to price Iraqi oil in Euros instead of the U.S. Dollars they can print from thin air, is the same group of people that liquidated Lincoln for daring to issue the debt-free Continental Greenback currency. 
John F. Kennedy is another story.
This poor guy not only had his government print and issue it’s own money instead of borrowing it at interest from the cabal, he actually shined light on the secret Nuclear Weapons program of the wrong people, all on top of wanting to back the military out of a profitable war the cabal had already pre-planned.
That’s why he got shot from three different angles. Kennedy had to go. Even he knew it.
It’s the same cabal that militarized and brainwashed the police to protect and serve their needs.
Today cops dress-up like ninja turtles in their military surplus gear, beating, arresting and pepper-spraying a frustrated public that has taken to the streets, actually trying to help the police by pointing out the real perpetrators and cabal criminals.
It’s the same cabal that secretly finances and supports Apartheid in the West Bank and Gaza. 
The same cabal that previously secretly financed and supported Apartheid in Rhodesia and South Africa.
The same criminal cabal that traded guns for Contra drugs, profits off today’s “War on Drugs”, tossing property-forfeiture clauses as bones of incentive to the co-conspirital State and their Police departments.
Then the cabal profits again by just happening to be owners of the private, for-profit prisons that warehouse countless drug “offenders” for victimless crimes, often specifically possession of a plant in a pocket.
It’s the same cabal that secretly implemented the “Alcohol Prohibition”, solely to eliminate ethanol fuel as a threat to cabal-owned oil companies during the early boom days of the automobile.
They did the same by outlawing Hemp.
If you can even believe it, Humans actually use petroleum, cotton and wood-pulp paper instead of Hemp to make their products and power their homes.
Even our deep-space cosmologists are still finding uses for the versatile Hemp plant. 
We too would probably still think that lightspeed was “Oh-so-fast” if we hadn’t already harnessed the power of Quantum Hempseed Mechanics.
Hemp is illegal on Earth because cabal scientists can’t find a way to artificially “improve” the cannabis chemical, something that needs to happen before it can be patented and royalties earned from it’s use.
Human heads will spin when they see how quickly cannabis is “legalized”, once patents are secured and a “safe”, sterile and seedless version of the plant is created.
More ironically, if you want a real laugh, the Humans recently discovered than Canabanoids are actually a naturally-occurring component of their homeostatic biological processes.
Of course, that one is going to be kept a big secret too.
When will Humans put it all together and see that it’s always been the same group of people leading Humanity astray?
A cabal of Humanoids and Reptilians. Controlling the currencies of nations and caring not who makes it laws.
Slicker than snot on a doorknob.
Self-chosen, destined and ordained by “Divine Right” and their “royal” blue-blood to rule over the useless eaters, hoarding more than half of the Planet’s wealth and secretly pulling Humanity’s puppet strings while remaining hidden behind the curtain.
When will Humans figure out that things are never exactly what they seem.
By now you must be asking yourself “How can we Ascendant Beings help”?
Unfortunately, Humans may be beyond assistance.
We certainly can’t just show up and simply offer assistance. People get killed here on a daily basis for making that silly mistake.
Technically, the Earthlings are more dangerous to us than we are to them.
On paper, they are a bigger threat to our Confederation of Universes than Inverted Pulsars, Plasma Flares and Neutronic Swine Flu combined.
However, confined to their solar system as they are right now, there is not much opportunity for their destructive behavior to spread.
Part of me sometimes wonders if it might be best to just vaporize them right now, sparing the Universes from the potential future headache of their interstellar infection.
Assuming of course, that Humans ever get smart enough to travel beyond their galaxy.
However I’ve made a few friends here so I won’t officially request a pre-emptive strike. I haven’t been Human for that long.
What I would suggest however is to shake things up a little. A little shock and awe can’t hurt. 
Many Humans believe that the only thing capable of uniting Earth’s inhabitants and instilling a genuine care for fellow mankind would be the imminent threat of “invaders from outer space”.
I tend to agree. Humans genuinely seem to need a “them” to hate before they can truly love or appreciate an “us”.
We could easily facilitate this unique cosmic experiment in the interest of anthropological research and simultaneously, probably nudge Humanity off their current path of self-destruction onto a more nobilic path towards species fulfillment.
We wouldn’t even have to involve our real military fleets.
A few trillion of our older intergalactic construction, maintenance and research vessels showing up on Earth’s horizon would easily do the trick.
For theatrical and shock values, we could even throw in a large Dark Matter Harvester or two.
The sight of the giant Harvesters would make Humans instantly forget prior class, creed and racial divisions as they scrambled around pointing out the “big ole mothership” to each other.
On Earth, a similar technique is directed at deviant children, known to Humans as “Scaring them Straight”.
I believe the same tactic might fittingly work on the whole planet of evolutionary toddlers.
This proposed “interference” could possibly even lead to Human Ascendancy one day in some great and distant future, as laughable today as that concept may seem.
Of course we would have to have our “invasion force” shielded against the effects of low-powered atomic missiles and weaponry.
Humans are known to shoot first and ask questions later. Especially if you look different.
The beauty of my plan is its simplicity. 
We just show up with harmless research vessels, honking our horns and flashing our lights and the entire species of Humanity could very possibly abandon their greedy, selfish ways immediately.
Of course we’ll have to take the Reptilians out first.
Otherwise, TV’s and newspapers under Shape-Shifter control will just simply tell the Humans that our spaceships are simultaneous atmospheric aberrations, weather balloons and “swamp gas” reflections.
P.S. Please allow additional time for me to respond to your replies. The Internet here is so slow that I can almost blink twice before a new webpage loads  🙁
Sincerest Regards,
Colin Bloomfield,
Remote Cosmic Explorer, Second Class
7th Anti-Matter Brigade

Dedicated to to the Memory of Al Fry & the Human Son I will leave behind on this strange planet.

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